Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
