Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
