# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
