I heard we made out
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
