its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
