i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
