so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
