He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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