Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like, not good at living.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize