Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You're like the curious george of whores
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
