they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
