whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
