Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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