i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
