This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
