Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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