Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize