If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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