I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
