Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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