Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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