A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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