We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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