ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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