official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
