What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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