it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Damn victory sex feels great
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
