In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
