you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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