Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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