piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
