just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
and she was petting her beer can
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
