You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize