Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I love you. Go after that dick
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
