I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
