this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
