I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
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There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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