Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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  (850): best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE! http://tfl.nu/ymdz
  Replies (7) Good night (4452) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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  (910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it http://tfl.nu/b99n
  Replies (48) Good night (2711) Bad night (5952) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers

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  (503): My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers http://tfl.nu/ouvx
  Replies (25) Good night (4264) Bad night (1550) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

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  (270): I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world. http://tfl.nu/l4ml
  Replies (17) Good night (868) Bad night (8300) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

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  (856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic? http://tfl.nu/h7hc
  Replies (13) Good night (5637) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.

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  (903): Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/yv47
  Replies (26) Good night (1537) Bad night (4251) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.

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  (605): Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester. http://tfl.nu/t8vg
  Replies (9) Good night (2727) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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  (507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6
  Replies (6) Good night (835) Bad night (3089) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off

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  (320): there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off http://tfl.nu/58y7
  Replies (13) Good night (2715) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

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  (319): Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts... http://tfl.nu/b46l
  Replies (13) Good night (1885) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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  (774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t
  Replies (2) Good night (2011) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal

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  (905): I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal http://tfl.nu/u38b
  Replies (6) Good night (1825) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em

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  (360): Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em http://tfl.nu/8kd5
  Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (1689) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.

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  (920): Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience. http://tfl.nu/3t0z
  Replies (0) Good night (1008) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.

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  (715): If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues. (1-715): I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes. http://tfl.nu/6qvu
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (360)

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