Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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(530): View more from California

my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.

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(516): View more from New York

Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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(315): View more from New York

Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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(702): View more from Nevada

The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.

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