so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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