i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize