Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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