you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she peed on how many people?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
