11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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