so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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