No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
