You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
