Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
