Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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