Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
