There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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