I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
