I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
