and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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