it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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