I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
