I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
