I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize