I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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