he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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