he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
