people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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