I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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