My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize