he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
