): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
